Buy Obama Toilet Paper
Wash hands after use
Don’t forget the essentials…
Don’t get caught up in the excitement of using Obama Toilet Paper and forget the basic tenants of bathroom behavior – remember to always wash your hands after wiping your butthole with a picture of the president.
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Send some Obama TP to your friends
Everybody loves Obama Toilet paper – it’s not only literally effective, its figuratively effective! With every swipe of the wrist, you are wiping clean not only the grainy remnants of your most recent bowel movement – you are wiping clean your conscience.
Feel free to drink heavy
Our 2 ply TP will take care of you
We sell the original Obama Toilet Paper, and our soft strong and soothing product can absorb just about any type of malfeasance your digestive system is capable of dishing out. So go ahead and double down on those tequila shooters, and might as well hit that hot dog stand on the way home – we got you covered in the morning.
BARACK OBAMA TP
Are you roundly dissatisfied with the current state of the union, thoroughly disgusted with the elusive and fleeting satisfaction the ballot box provides, looking to aggressively voice your dissent on a daily basis? Well for those dreaming of political revolution, we are proud to offer a 2 ply solution. Barack Obama Toilet Paper is the next great American innovation, a sanitary sensation that is quite literally sweeping the nation. Obama Toilet Paper presents each and every American with an affordable opportunity to experience a paradigm shift in bowel movement satisfaction.
The advent of Obama Toilet Paper is clearly a watershed moment of major world significance and it’s admittedly difficult to overstate the potential magnitude of Obama Toilet Paper’s impact on the national political scene. Gone are the days where political activism and personal cleanliness were treated as two totally entities, with the emergence of Obama Toilet Paper – you can now easily take a pointed stance on the current state of American politics simply by physically assuming a pointed stance. Melding your own political ideology into real and tangible action no longer requires an arduous and prohibitive drive to you local polling station, it now requires nothing more than the simple lucid beauty of an abhorrent fecal event.
Is Barrack Obama a supporter of Obama Toilet Paper?
An exacting and precise analysis of President Obama’s core principals and positions leads us to believe Mr. Obama is nothing short of a fervent supporter of our toilet paper product. After all, creating hope and change is a stressful and difficult process, much like vanquishing the thin layer of dark matter caked onto your taint. Not to mention the specifics of a lot of the president’s policy maneuvers suggest a certain subtle support for absorbent toiletries. For example, recently the public voiced its concerns that Obama’s health care bill might not be a particularly palatable dietary option for the nation, and many were hesitant to quickly and wholeheartedly swallow such a massive and potentially odorous agenda. The president was given ample warning that it was ill advised to try to aggressively push an unknown item of such significant size and density through the system, without first allowing ample time for its contents to be fully digested, yet Obama was not interested in letting nature take its course. He instead stiffened his position, leveraged all of his strength, and exerted so much pressure that he was able to squeeze this hot, wet, steaming pile of legislation straight through the bowels of congress with such tremendous force that the moment it passed, it exploded all over the headlines, generated a scalding hot tsunami of criticism, and its contents ended up scattered and splattered all over the national news.
While I was reasonably satisfied with the results I was getting from regular over the counter toilet paper, I always felt like my TP was only working at the surface level, like it wasn’t ever really “accomplishing” anything significant (0ther than removing fecal matter). Now that I am using Obama TP, I feel like I am not only doing something good for my own personal hygiene, but I am doing something positive for society as a whole, and that’s the type of experience I want to have when I shatter my toilet beyond comprehension. Thanks Obama Toilet Paper!
This is a sensational product. Not only is my evil brown octopus now sparkling clean – but so is my whole home! I have realized Obama TP also works great to clean up baby puke, cat urine, and dead spiders.
Before I discovered Obama Toilet Paper, frankly I used to consider post bowel movement cleansing to be little more than a thankless, onerous chore – one which arguably offered no real tangible benefits whatsoever. I can’t tell you how many times I seriously contemplated totally abandoning the use of Toilet Paper all together. Yet now that I have Obama TP in my house, angrily wiping my stink-hole is fun again!
The Obama Toilet Paper Song Musical Center
“Music is a great way relax yourself after a stressful day of remembering Obama’s horrific policy decisions!”
Now sing along with the Barack Obama TP song!
READY TO MAKE AN OBAMA TOILET PAPER PURCHASE? SMART MOVE
Buy Obama Toilet Paper
By purchasing Barack Obama Toilet Paper, you are single handedly helping to strengthen the very fibers that weave together this great nation of ours. Think about it…freedom of speech, innovation, entrepreneurism, wild careless dietary standards that lead to explosive, fiery burning hot liquefied diarrhea – this IS America, this is what we are!
Obama T.P. is a brash and unapologetically authentic slice of Americana. It has been said that perhaps no other consumer product in the history of national commerce better exemplifies what it truly means to be an American than toilet paper with the current sitting president’s face printed all over each and every sheet.
We operate under an even money policy – fast free shipping and handling are included with each and every roll. For $10 even money a small brown box will arrive at your home. That box will contain a roll of Obama Toilet Paper. The lavatory fun and memories will last forever.
GOT OBAMA TOILET PAPER QUESTIONS – WE HAVE ANSWERS!
Obama Toilet Paper Frequently Asked Questions
Absolutely, this is high grade super soft 2 ply toilet paper fully capable of absorbing anything you are capable of unleashing.
Our professional grade Obama TP has the capitulator in chief printed on each and every sheet. Beware of cheap homemade Obama TP that only has an image printed on the first few sheets – where is the fun in that? Depending on your dietary habits, a single roll of Obama Toilet Paper can provide you with up to two full weeks of epic bathroom bliss.
It certainly is. Bear in mind that most liberals are so infatuated with Mr. Obama that they would love nothing more than to be constantly graced with his likeness throughout the entirety of their day, including during the execution of even their most sensitive bodily functions!
You better believe it. Considering the catastrophic damage the Obama presidency has done to this country in such a short span of time, there is simply no telling how reviled Obama might ultimately become, and therefore no telling how explosively high the demand for (and price of) Obama TP might eventually soar. It’s a truly explosive pure market shit-uation, and an investment opportunity you would be ill advised to pass on. Bear in mind all the worlds reputable financial analysts have already collectively gone on the record about our product, unanimously listing Obama TP as a strong “buy”, and the market as a whole is quite bullish on absorbent presidential toiletries in general. This makes perfect sense, because after all, if there is one thing Wall Street is good at – it’s shitting all over everything.
Once you have experienced the total sanitary satisfaction that Obama Toilet Paper provides, the ripple effects of this enlightened state of being will undoubtedly begin to flow throughout all aspects of your life. Many of our customers have credited Barck Obama Toilet Paper as being the sole catalyst that led them to begin living a healthier lifestyle. After all, it’s no secret that higher quality defecations containing thicker richer excrement are the key to experiencing a bold, hearty and satisfying toilet paper experience. The addition of fiber and root vegetables into ones diet is a surprisingly natural progression in the mindset of a Obama Toilet Paper user, as such elevated standards of consumption give your feces the competitive edge it needs to leverage your Obama TP for maximum effect.
Wiping yourself clean with Obama TP might just be the most authentic American experience you will ever have the pleasure of engaging in. Their very well may be no other single solitary product that better exemplifies the very freedoms that our nation is founded upon then a roll of Toilet Paper with our president’s face printed all over it. Every time you use Obama Toilet Paper, you are not only supporting American small business, you are supporting America. So wipe clean, wipe with pride, and for god’s sake, please wipe up the remnants of that apocalyptic mudslide.